Forty-Six & 2
My shadow's
shedding skin, and
I've been picking
scabs again.

I'm down,
digging through
my old muscles,looking
for a clue.

I've been crawling on my belly,
clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own confused and
insecure delusions.

For a piece to cross me over,
or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down,
I wanna know what I've been hiding

in my shadow, my shadow.
Change is coming through my shadow.
My shadow's shedding skin,
I've been picking
scabs again.

I've been crawling on my belly
clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic,
insecure delusions.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
cleansing I've endured in

My shadow, my shadow.
Change is coming.
Now is my time.

Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I've been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.

I choose to live and to
grow, take and give and to
move, learn and love and to
cry, kill and die and to
be paranoid and to
lie, hate and fear and to
do what it takes to move through.

I choose to live and to
lie, kill and give and to
die, learn and love and to
do what it takes to step through.

See my shadow changing,
stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
by stepping through my shadow,
coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me.

from Aenima, 1996